Dead things that need to die again*

10 Aug

Why was this ever considered fashionable?

Who looked at that animal (while it was alive) and thought, if I drape its dead corpse around my neck I’ll look pretty. No. I’ll look fabulous!

Then other people had to agree with them because, hey, it became fashionable! Yuck.

Although that one above doesn’t have the head and feet still attached. The ones that do still have head and feet attached? They make the head chew on its own bum to hold it in place. Sick.

But that’s beside the point. What I really want to talk about is the box of dead things I found.

So I found this box. It was full of dead things, as it turns out. But I didn’t know that when I went to open it. As I go to open this box for the first time, not knowing what is in it I spot something black and furry inside. Thinking it was an animal (dead or alive it didn’t matter) I leap back and shout BAH! Then I look around nervously as if an imaginary audience viewed the embarrassing incident and was about to mock me. Because inside the box that startled me so badly?

A furry hat.

And stoles that still had head and feet attached *shudder*

But it was the hat that I saw first and it was the hat that scared me. Brought down by a furry hat. Oh, how shameful.

So…watch out for those furry hats…they’re out to get you.

After this I set the box aside to be dealt with at a later date. I didn’t want to deal with it. The things creep me out. The eyeless sockets, the flatness (reminiscent of roadkill), the little feet. Yuck.

But sooner or later it had to be dealt with *sigh*

Steeling myself I went over to the box and started taking the things out. Things are going fine… nothing to see here… I… handle dead things all the time… yes… of course… nothing out of the ordinary…everything’s fine…

I’m such a liar, the things give me the creeps. So now the box is about empty when I catch something moving in the fur. OH HOLY MOTHER OF GOD THEY’RE ALIVE!!! NOOOOO!!!

Oh. It’s just a spider. Wait! A spider! Ugh. *throws box*

Now those dead things sit there giving me silent judgement from their eyeless sockets. Mocking me. Laughing at me. Plotting revenge.

Creeping me out until I can find a new home for them. Far. Far away.

*then be burned and have the ashes scattered to the ends of the earth for good measure.
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Posted by on August 10, 2012 in Uncategorized


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